after finishing the unsettled self, i found myself thinking about dark mirror.
there was something about the introspection of that piece that made me want to paint it again.
i didn’t want to recreate it exactly, but i wanted to see if i could replicate a similar emotional space…so i began painting.
as usual, i didn’t have much of a plan. i kept on painting…and then, something unusual happened.
a figure appeared, and then he started crying.
it wasn’t something i had consciously decided, it simply emerged through the process of painting.
once he was there, i knew he couldn’t exist alone, and that i wanted to create his opposite.
that was the moment the diptych idea began forming.
at first, i thought i was exploring loneliness…and perhaps i am.
but the more time i spend with these paintings, the less certain i become.
i find myself wondering whether the two figures are separate people, or different parts of the same person.
whether they represent connection, disconnection, or something else entirely.
perhaps they’re different parts of ourselves, perhaps they reflect interpersonal relationships.
i believe they’re asking questions i haven’t learnt how to articulate yet.
it’s still early days and i don’t have answers. only curiosity.
i’m excited to begin writing about this work now rather than waiting until it’s finished.
the unsettled self was written with the benefit of hindsight.
i could look back and see patterns, connect ideas together, and understand things that weren’t visible at the time.
this is different, i’m writing from inside the process in real time, sharing thoughts before i know where they’ll lead.
it’s exciting…and a little daunting to open up and let you all know what i’m thinking.
i’m keen to see how ideas will develop in coming weeks and months.
it’ll be interesting to look back and see which threads were followed, and which weren’t…to see what the paintings become, and what they reveal.
for now, i’m following the same approach i’ve always taken.
pay attention, stay curious, keep painting.
and trust that, eventually, the work will tell me what it has been trying to say all along.
— elise
